Saturday, December 18, 2010

Everyone gets angry, but that doesn't make them like you

It should come as no surprise that I did not post at all fall quarter...My blood is full and I need to vent.  Pardon.

I do not understand why I am such an angry person.  I can feel it my shoulders and back and lungs--I'm FURIOUS.  But I don't know what about.  I wonder if something happened to me that I repressed.  I don't know how much I believe in repressed memories, however.  I do know someone that I believe legitimately has one, but that's because they can remember corners of what happened and then they shut down.  I don't have that.  I'm just pissed.  Easily.  Often. 

I know part of this is that I just don't handle stress well, and life is stressful.  I get frustrated.  Who doesn't?  But not that many people get so frustrated they feel they have to injure themselves in order to release the anger.  They say that anger is a secondary emotion, that it stems from shame.  I wonder why I'm ashamed of myself. 

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