I went dress shopping with my brother's girlfriend recently and had a bad experience. Dresses that used to be in my size looked......bad. Very bad. I had an inkling I might have gained weight this summer, but it still came as a shock. My job keeps quite active, and it's not like my eating habits have gotten particularly worse. I've always eaten poorly, and this summer is about my most active one on record. I went home and cried. It's not the extra weight--which really isn't much--looked that awful. I was mourning something else--the possibility of ever being as thin as I wish I was. I can't imagine myself ever being able to maintain the sort of lifestyle I would need to have the body I long for. I'm too picky of an eater and too lazy/busy to exercise that intensely or consistently. Still, I'm going to make an effort. High fructose corn syrup will be reduced. Less soda! And I know I love snacking, so I'll eat baked chips instead of fried and try to start invest in apples and peanuts and other healthier, crunchier foods.
It's always been taboo for me to talk about my weight because I am built so thin. I have ridiculously thin wrists and limbs, but I still have excess stomach fat. I can tell people worry about me and think I'm anorexic (or, alternately, judge me and think I'm anorexic). Okay, so I'm not obese and I have super thin limbs! That does make me in shape, and I don't have to be happy about my weight if I don't want to! >_< I don't want to count calories and worry excessively about my food choices, but I do want to make intelligent and healthy eating decisions. I also want to get my BMI to 22. I don't know what it is now...last I checked it was 24.5, though. I was thinner then, so I'm sure it's gone up (though I do have more leg muscle now. Thank you, summer job).
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